Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
