You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
