Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize