when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so let's talk penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
