Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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