Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
