Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
