I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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