I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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