Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wear drunk well.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
