he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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