my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize