you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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