Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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