Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
