the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
