butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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