i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
