is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
