my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
