I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she told me i tasted like america
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
