I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
