i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
