can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
