Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
