Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
