i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
