may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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