i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this just has baby written all over it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
