I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
