she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize