ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
