I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
