She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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