Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
