Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
