PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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