We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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