i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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