So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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