They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize