so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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