I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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