Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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