he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
