I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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