his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
