Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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