how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
