I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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