hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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