What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
