Do vagina's smell?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize