I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
