Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
