watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Couch. On fire.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
