Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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