I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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