I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
