He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
