I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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