I'm so fucking centered right now
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
