I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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