She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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