It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize