i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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