I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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