oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
