I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
