Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
