We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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