I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
