K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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