I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
