I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
