My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize