The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
