that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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