Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
