i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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